It's just after 4am and I've woken from a nightmare. It was set like a Lifetime movie thriller (to much LMN yesterday, perhaps.) I had uncovered a multi-tiered marketing herbal supplement scam and cheating scandal and was being chased down. I was trapped in the estate-like home of the ringleader - it was raining and nighttime (of course.) I had escaped to the grounds with a house phone but I kept misdialing 911. When I finally got through, I was too far from the home for the operator to hear me. I had left a friend back inside the house and was feeling guilty. I had to go back. But, I had been drugged and things were getting blurry. I was becoming slow; paralyzed even. In the background, I heard someone say, "They will find her in the pool."
And then I woke up.
It didn't take me but a second to analyze what had occurred.
Dreams often reveal quite a bit.
Here I was in an uncontrollable situation. I was scared. Terrified actually. And, I didn't know what to do. Nothing was going right and I felt paralyzed. Hmm...I immediately recognized all the feelings I have yet to claim. My nightmare had just done it for me.
Just when I thought I was in control!
Now totally awake, I fire up my ipad hoping to settle myself. I need to rest; to squeeze in the two more hours of sleep I desperately need. I open my YouVersion Bible application to where I'd left it before I'd fallen asleep.
The Armor of God
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should. (Ephesians 6:10-20 NIV)
I'm not shocked by my nightmare. Of course, I'm scared and feeling out of control. I have cancer. It's an ugly and cruel disease and no one ever really knows the outcome. I have a family. I can't be sick.
But I am.
I am sick.
I have freakin cancer.
And, I do have a battle ahead of me.
Thankfully, I know where to find strength. And, I am really going to need it. So I will arm myself. God, along with support of my family, friends, church, and great doctors will be there for me as I suit up.
Belt of Truth
Breastplate of Righteousness
Shoes of readiness that comes from the gospel of peace
Shield of Faith
Helmet of Salvation
Sword of the Spirit
Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. (Psalm 62:1 NIV)
I think it's funny that I immediately got up and started writing. I feel better now. When I get up in a few hours this will be in the past. Just a bad dream. If anything, maybe LMN will pay me for the movie rights.
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