There is no plan B...this is my journey and I have to trust it.

241 PAGE VIEWS SINCE 8AM??!!??

WOW! I guess I need to keep ya'll posted. 

TOMORROW I WILL WAKE UP AND CELEBRATE! 

It's John and my 2nd Wedding Anniversary. 

And I can't imagine going through this with anyone else!

ILURAFAE! 10-10-10

(We do like PINK!)

It's also the day of the big reveal. My follow-up appointment is tomorrow at 3pm. I will have a better idea of what I am dealing with then.  Until then, I have lots of work to do, 2 soccer practices, football practice, Habitat Test to study for with McKenna and all the things us mom's do.

I am looking forward to tomorrow. I like answers. Answers are good. Answers allow for plans. Not control...but at least plans. 

There is no plan B. This is my journey that He designed and I have to trust it.

It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I am feeling all too aware

THE WORLD HAS TURNED PINK!

New NFL football gear, ribbons on eBay, changed FB profile pictures, new pro golfer gear, decorated schools, Starbucks mugs, pleas for pink Coke cans and Twix wrappers...and then my personal favorite:

A newly inserted titanium ribbon IN my right breast! 

A marker of the "thing" that is going to have to be removed sometime in the next month. The big question mark. The unknown. The potential "Big C."

As a fellow blogger so eloquently described:

With a flourish, the technician presented what had been declared a satisfactory mammogram picture of my breast. There it was. Right there on the bottom right of the screen. A new metal tissue marker, fashioned in the shape of the ubiquitous breast cancer awareness ribbon. “See? There’s that cute little ribbon.” in my tissue. In me. Without my permission. Branded. Speechless.

Ironically and thankfully, all this took place after we had ushered out October, Breast Cancer Awareness Month (although early in November all those commercials were still airing). Until then, I’d considered the pink ribbon as not much more than a pretty embellishment on yogurt lids and bottles of water and Facebook badges, but as I found myself ever deeper in cancer country, that ribbon had begun to offend me. I could barely tolerate seeing one more, especially not one that had been inserted in my very tissue.

Look at ALL THAT PINK!

This is a picture of my Hubby and I at the BCC Rally for the Cure Golf Tournament on September 16, 2012...just a few days before my CORE biopsy. 

Just a few days later on September 24, 2012, I posted on Facebook: 

Ironic that it's the one year anniversary of my team walking 60 miles in the 3-Day Walk to find a cure for breast cancer and today I'm having a core biopsy on a "suspicious mass" in my right breast. I'm prayerfully positive that everything will be okay but ladies, GET A MAMMOGRAM! You never know! — at Inova Loudoun Hospital.

I received 29 comments and 15 personal emails encouraging me and sending positive vibes and prayers my way. Lots of friends encouraged me by saying that 80% of biopsies turn out to be nothing. The odds are in your favor. So we did the biopsy. And we waited...and waited...and waited...

I'm the other 20%. 

Results came back "atypical." Not benign. Not cancer. Just atypical. Oh! And the masses (plural!) will have to be surgically removed. So the specialist ordered a MRI to figure out "the extent of the disease." So we did an MRI on October 4, 2012...and now we wait...and wait...and wait. 

The ribbon is a symbol. It's a reminder. And it's a good one. Take care of yourselves. Go to 2nd base yourself at least once a month. Get your mammograms! 

But for me...Right now I'm feeling all too aware.

So I will turn to a different reminder this October.

And I will wait....