I have breast cancer.
I have breast cancer.
No matter how many times I say it, it doesn't sound real.
In fact, to me it sounds like a rather frivolous statement...like, "I have a puppy."
I am fine.
I act fine.
I will be fine.
But check this out...here's what going on in the inside. The white areas and especially the rounded nodules on the lower portion of the breast; they are the unfriendly cells. This is not a healthy breast.
But I'm still working.
Still attending every soccer and football game.
Still hosting play-dates with 5-10 kids in my home or backyard.
Still keeping the house clean.
Still hanging out with my friends.
Still going to church.
Still feeling normal!
At night when everyone is in bed, I tend to get emotional...but in the grand scheme of things, I'd say John and I are holding down the fort pretty darn well!
But our body reacts in funny ways. And it tells us when to slow down whether we like it or not. So even though I feel great; my body is harboring stress...and guess where it showed up this week? My neck! Stress-induced eczema (or something.) Are you kidding? Just when I thought I had everyone (including myself) fooled! There it is for the world to see.
Here's the reality. In a few weeks, I will undergo a double mastectomy with preliminary reconstruction. The process to make me whole again will take several months. I have tons of help and an amazing medical team. I am confident that my prognosis is positive. I am joyful to see my family, including my kids, band together. Their positive attitude and innocent hearts are a cure for any fear. I am in great hands. And I have the Lord to hold me up.
But it's gonna hurt. And I have breast cancer. And that just sucks!
