It's been three days since my double mastectomy. I am in good spirits and I can finally get out of bed without screaming out in pain. Being home helps. John has bathed me (he claims it's been the highlight of his week) and keeps me comfortable. I am so happy to have my parents here as well - they are all working together to keep things running smoothly. And, my dear babies...they were a bit surprised that my "pillows" are so small. Jack suggested that the doctor fills them with feathers next time I go in. If only it were that easy!
What they don't tell you...
- Tissue expanders hurt and they will continue to do so. They are like braces - every time you go in to get them [tightened] expanded; they hurt. The tissue and muscles are expanding and it's very uncomfortable. So when I keep up with my medication (and I act loopy), I do okay...but when I miss a round (slept through one last night), it's takes some time to catch up. It hurts more that I thought it would.
- I am much flatter than I thought I would be. Double mastectomy means removal of the breasts. Recovery and reconstruction takes 4-6 months (+) and I don't think that had sunk in for me. The are all kids of prosthetic options but I think I may just see how it goes and enjoy what I do have. There is a place high on my chest wall that is indented...they had to remove more tissue to get all the margins. That was a bit of a shock. But again, I am alive and that is worth it.
- The more open you are with your kids; the better they will handle things. I am SO GLAD that we took an honest approach with the kids. They are curious...[the drains, the medication, the dressings, my tiny left-over boobies...] and are going over and beyond to help me. There is no fear in our household.
- Being open about my situation has allowed me to get some TLC from friends and it's NICE to have friends around. I've only had two visitors and am taking it slow, but it is nice to see smiling faces.
